Thursday, July 08, 2004


I have just munched on Black Forest ice cream cake to eliminate the last traces of any Dementor attacks from me :9

As for Ragnarok, we have finally agreed on Crisha's new pose. i think. I lost the documentation of that one. Nah, I'll just text him...

And the tarpaulin? I sent an email of our project agreement. And I won't work on it until he complies. So now I'm free to work for other clients who doesn't give me Dementor attacks.

As for the soundbooth, I got paid P3375(tax deducted), so I guess it's ok. Anyway, my business is done regarding that. They want me back I'll cut another deal.

And I feel better now. I get a bit off when I get caught under the rain again but I recover now as quickly as usual.

And I have bought a dreamcatcher in Greenbelt, same place Wanwan bought hers and also accompanied by my other sis Vivi. It's big and it's red. The screams and words I heard before are now reduced to sighs and whispers. So I guess that's an improvement.

Which reminds me, I had a dream this morning. I dreamt my family(Mamy, Vivi, Allan, me and Wanwan) went to Canossa (my high school) to hear mass. Nope, not in the chapel, but in the classrooms. They arranged the armchairs to be like pews. And the teachers do the service from behind their desks. Weird huh? I wonder if this has anything to do with my last post (Purpose Driven Jac 6)?

Then I looked out the window and found an amazing sight of the full moon AND the sun, together in the same sky! I was so excited I hurried Wan to take pics with her mobile phone.

As she took pics we notice a huge swarm of bats(and I mean HUGE. It nearly swallowed up half the sky) flying across from the left of the sky. Covering first the sun, then the moon. Wanwan was worried about the bats. I told her we're ok with them up in the sky and us down on the ground.

Then the bats came swooping down and caused panic among the congregation. Everyone's running all over the place. We held together and ran away. Then I woke up. I wasn't so disturbed when I dreamt it, even when later on that I read around that it may be a bad omen. Maybe because I know no matter what happens, our family stays together. Like we always had through the most troubling times. And we will still be through the best times in the present and the future.

Chapter Six: How should the fact that life on earth is just a temporary assignment change the way I am living right now?

This chapter disturbed me so much I almost decided to discontinue with the book. No wonder some of the ones who read it wanted to quit their jobs and volunteer as a missionary in Africa and shit! This chapter said we're actually ambassadors in an enemy country and that we shouldn't be tempted by life's different philosophies and betray God. It said that we should be like the martyrs who suffered all through life because they'll get their rewards in the afterlife.

Correct me if I'm wrong. But I don't believe we all should be martyrs. I don't believe enjoying life is a sin. We are not here JUST to serve God by being martyrs or by suffering. We are here because he created this world we're living in for us and it is our job to take care of it. This is NOT enemy country. It IS our home. He made this home for us. I'll be danged if I allow this earthly life to be called 'theirs'. This may not be heaven, but this sure ain't hell! This is life. This is where angels get masteral degrees and this is where devils can get a completion grade!

Life is transient yes, I agree with that. Life is part of a learning stage, yes! I agree with that! But we don't suffer in life because we're hoping to be rewarded in death.

We live this life and do what is right for the betterment of this place. Our ultimate goal is not merely to serve God like a servant would to its master. We help God bring heaven on earth. This may sound impossible. It may even be that it will never happen. But I'll live this life the best I can, being as happy as I can, and even make others happy, if I can. Because that's what heaven is. A place where we can share God's joy in His creations.

And if we aim to live doing what's right, for the benefit of all, then I believe we'll get there. I believe we can live in heaven without having to die after suffering and sacrificing to do good.

What I have just said may be controversial, but this is what I believe. If you believe otherwise, come and try to change my mind :) it might be fun.

Thursday, July 01, 2004

PERFECT by Alanis Morissette

Sometimes is never quite enough
If you're flawless, then you'll win my love
Don't forget to win first place
Don't forget to keep that smile on your face

Be a good boy
Try a little harder
You've got to measure up
And make me prouder

How long before you screw it up
How many times do I have to tell you to hurry up
With everything I do for you
The least you can do is keep quiet

Be a good girl
You've gotta try a little harder
That simply wasn't good enough
To make us proud

I'll live through you
I'll make you what I never was
If you're the best, then maybe so am I
Compared to him compared to her
I'm doing this for your own damn good
You'll make up for what I blew
What's the problem...why are you crying

Be a good boy
Push a little farther now
That wasn't fast enough
To make us happy
We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect

Chapter Five: What has happened to me recently that I now realize was a test from God? What are the greatest matters God has entrusted to me?

What my mind is preoccupied with most right now is how I seem to have 3 career paths. One is something my family chose. Another is something I wished for short term. While another, unexpected path came up with possibilities so awesome I still find it hard to believe.

I know I should be ecstatic. But I can't help feeling apprehensive. I have always been wary of God when He does these things. It's like He teases me sometimes. He'd show me something I thought I could have, then change His mind and make me deal with something I didn't want at all.

So as usual, I just wait for more details instead of jumping to conclusions and making long-term plans for things that are not sure after all. I leave God my future. His will be done.